Alright.. I had to do it. I never reached this point with my son and quite frankly, with him I knew there could be a possibility of being late since he was my first so his two day early arrival was utterly shocking and the best thing that could have happened for me. Hindsight is always 20/20 they say. Now that I sit here at 40 weeks, I understand why pregnant women who reach this point become irritable, sassy and quite frankly, no fun to be around.
What you may not realize is there isn’t normal conversation with a woman at her due date. Everyone wants to know details, everyone’s dying to hear if there are changes and some are even serious when they asked if the baby has been born yet… We want to talk about other topics besides our current situation. There are so many uncontrollables in a situation like pregnancy, so asking us things we cannot answer just leaves us feeling incompetent and less than. Please talk to me about my son, or the weather or what my plans are for fall. No one seems to care about anything besides my cervical dilation these days and that’s just not okay with me.
To answer a few wondering questions that I know you’re thinking:
- How do you feel? I’m actually quite comfortable and don’t feel 40 weeks pregnant — which is also scary because she literally has 8 days to arrive or forceful talk will start happening. Other than that I’m feeling impatient.. very impatient.
- Have there been any changes? NO. I’m a blogger.. a lifestyle blogger at that.. which means I share more details than the average person. Guaranteed if you even know me or follow me on snap chat, you’d be aware if I’m leaking fluid, starting to contract or traveling to the birth center. Even for the non-sharers of this world.. This is an awful question and it usually can’t be answered beyond the extent of, “baby is low.” Which we all know you can see, so don’t ask.
- Have you tried [fill in the blank]? Good God yes. I’ve overly prepared for this baby and am willing to test all sorts of myths so I appreciate your efforts, but I currently have a lot of time to kill and it’s spent figuring out how to have this baby.
- Are you ready? Hmm, lets see.. I’ve had one too many days to pack and re-pack my bag/car.. so I think yes.
So I figured I’d try and help the average Joe out with some Good, Better, Best scenarios but I’m going to re-categorize them as “Don’t”, “I wouldn’t” and “OMG you just made this pregnant persons day, maybe week.”
Examples of terrible ways to start a conversation with someone at, near or after 40 weeks of pregnancy:
- Wow, you’re still pregnant?
- You’ve been pregnant FOREVER!
- You haven’t had that baby yet?
- You must be so uncomfortable…
- My God, you are so big! (even if said in a cute, endearing way)
- Maybe the doctors got your due date wrong!
- Just have that baby already…
Innocent ways of offending or annoying someone at, near or after 40 weeks of pregnancy:
- How are you feeling?
- Have you felt any changes?
- How much longer do you think he/she will wait?
- Well, sleep while you can!
- At least you’re not that late..
Incredible ways to make someones day who is at, near or after 40 weeks:
- How can I help you out today?
- Can I pray for you? / What would like prayer for?
- Would you like me to grab you some food/ice cream/Sidecar donuts and come over?
- Let’s schedule lunch, I’m free today, tomorrow and everyday after – what works best?
- Do you want me to watch your kid/animals so you can go have some ‘me’ time?
- I’d love to come help you [clean/tidy/pack/prepare/wash your car] since your baby is bound to arrive any day, when works best?
- Want to get a pedicure with me?
- Hey I see you’re [walking/eating/kicking back] a lot, can I come keep you company while you do so?
Guaranteed, if you use any of those last examples as a start to conversation with someone nearing the end of pregnancy, she will indulge more details with how she’s feeling, what’s changed and be overly elated to chat with you rather than the rest. Put yourself in the pregnant mom’s shoes, especially if you’ve been there before. She is hearing the same questions over and over at this point wether it’s on the phone with a relative or at the register of the grocery store. Try to enlighten her, encourage her and bring her hope that conversations can revolve around more than her situation and current standing. There’s only so many ways we can answer the same question and I apologize if you’re the 10th person that asks it and I’m snarky..
I must say, I had a friend treat me to an afternoon without my first born just to give me rest and I decided to get a massage. I figured the extra release of oxytocin could potentially help with labor induction and at this point, I down right deserved it. I highly recommend the app Soothe. Think the Uber of massages. They literally deliver a certified masseuse to your door and prenatal massages are one of their options — HEAVEN! Plus, if you use the Promo Code PJEYE you can get $30 off your first massage with them!
I decided to have her setup in the nursery just to get the new baby vibes flowing…
For now – follow me on Snapchat @essentiallyamom if you’d like to follow my progress, see how I hilariously try to encourage this little girl to arrive and for all the rest of daily life. For all you 40 weeks momma’s, you’ve got this. Days feel like eternity and sleeplessness has a grip on you but SO SO soon you will be enveloped by your newborn and in a whole new world of crazy. All of the sudden days will move at a million miles an hour and the onslaught of questions will be in a new form.
-Essentially an Overdue Mom