If there’s one thing I am this pregnancy compared to the last, it’s my
confidence not-caring attitude. Granted it wasn’t summertime with my first pregnancy and I didn’t have another child this side of the womb to worry about, but guys.. I stopped caring what other people think. And you know what it’s done for me? Given me a world of confidence and left me only to sit in my own enjoyment and people can see the joy.
None of this really hit me until today.. At 38 weeks pregnant, I was told “You make pregnancy look great!” And this was minutes after getting out of a pool in a bikini with my son for his swim lesson. My hair was tattered, I hadn’t showered in a few days (knowing I’d be hopping into the chlorine infested pool), I have a belly that’s about to burst and I was just fully immersed in my son’s happiness being at his swim school with a friend. I realized after she told me that.. I must be exuding confidence that is covering up the crazy. My belly is riddled with stretch marks that are not “beautiful” to mainstream ideals and my leg has the largest varicose vein I’ve ever seen and is clearly visible with as vulnerable as I’m dressed. This clearly wouldn’t normally be my best “moment” but she saw me for me. Stepping out of my normal comfort zone and just accepting my body for what it is and not worrying about myself and just enjoying my surroundings.Children are such blessings and pregnancy is the same. No matter how miserable it may be for some, it’s truly a miracle. For some it takes years and dedication and money spent, for others it may also take time and more money spent and yet they never get the chance to experience it. So why complain about my largeness? Why dwell in the discomfort? Everyone is so concerned for my
Every stretch mark I see is a sign that my body made room for a little human to grow bigger. My belly button that is no longer in existence is a sign I’m close to meeting my baby girl. The pain in my round ligament tells me I once carried a child before so this one sits closer to where she will meet the world. My wakefulness at night is filled with the movement that is preparing me for the tiny human she will be. I’m learning her mannerisms and no one else gets to experience that yet except me. That is beautiful.
When I saw past the stretch marks, others seemed to ignore them too. It’s amazing how people read others based on their confidence over physical appearance because people are attracted to the soul and joy a person exudes and carries around.
So – Here I am mentally preparing.. Enjoying every last devoted second I have with my first born and loving on this life I’ve been given. I am so blessed.
-Essentially a grateful Mom